


i wish i told you all the things i didn't

by m0dus_0perandi



Series: i can't seem to bury all the words that i've left unsaid [1]
Category: American Housewife (TV)
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Pre-Relationship, i guess?, idk - Freeform, may write more for this???, me writing fluff vs me writing angst are two different people y'all, the working title for this was 'oliver has a gay panic' btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:00:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m0dus_0perandi/pseuds/m0dus_0perandi
Summary: lol may make more parts of this???
Relationships: Cooper Bradford & Oliver Otto, Cooper Bradford/Oliver Otto
Series: i can't seem to bury all the words that i've left unsaid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036650
Comments: 5
Kudos: 33





	i wish i told you all the things i didn't

Oliver stared at the computer screen in front of him, illuminating his face and casting a light in the basement's shroud of darkness. It was risky. He knew that. Cooper could come bounding down the steps at any moment. But he needed answers.

A sexuality crisis wasn't on Oliver's life agenda. Though neither was living underneath his house with a millionaire best friend. Life didn't always work out the way he intended. So Googling _'why do I like a boy if I'm a boy and I've only liked girls before?'_ was an unavoidable aspect of his new agenda. A terrifying one.

He watched as hundreds of results popped onto the screen. Words like _bisexual_ and _heteroflexible_ and half a dozen others infiltrating his mind and replacing a jumble of confusion where his clear-cut identity once resided. Too many choices. Overwhelmed.

Oliver wished Angela still lived in Westport. Someone who knew the nuances of what he was going through. Not once in his sixteen years did he think he would be yearning for a discussion about sexual identity with a lesbian lawyer. But he was. He was yearning for a lot of unexpected things. Case in point: Cooper Bradford.

What began as a popularity tactic, a phase in his ultimate scheme for success, developed into a friendship meaning more to Oliver than anything before. Harvard, yachts, money, they all paled in comparison to Cooper. And that scared him. 

Only when the boy moved in did Oliver start to notice the signs. Cooper's eyes sparkled more, his smile was brighter. Everything about his best friend was _enhanced._ Like someone put a filter on him and cranked the intensity to 100. And it made Oliver feel some sort of way. A sensation he couldn't quite pinpoint that flooded his lungs and made it hard to breathe whenever Cooper was around. He tried to silence the feeling. It just got worse.

Pounding from above, then quiet. On instinct, Oliver closed his tabs and shut the computer off, his feet ricocheting off the leather chair and causing him to spin. A light appeared in the room over. A signal. It was one of those things that remained unspoken between the two of them, like how Cooper would always eat the pizza crusts but hand over his pepperoni. Routine. The lamp by the couch was an invitation. _Video games, you in?_

It was one of the few activities that still felt normal after the revelation. The clicking noises their controllers made could distract Oliver and make his increasing heart rate seem like just a byproduct of the level's adrenaline. Until a misstep settled the dust, and he was brought back to reality. Life wasn't a video game. It would take more than shooting a couple of zombies for the fuzzy feeling in his chest to dissipate.

As he walked over, he saw Cooper straighten his back against the couch. A slight movement, something months ago he wouldn't have noticed. But he knew the silent confirmation the motion carried.

"What were you doing in there?"

The question was soft, and Oliver could tell Cooper was tired. His words tended to become less pronounced the later it got. Another detail the younger boy learned during their time spent together.

"Research. Trevor needs help marketing Gyftee."

It was unsettling how easy it was to lie to Cooper. No. Rephrase. _Hiding the truth._ Better. Didn't leave a pit in his stomach, at least.

"Oh."

A single syllable. He didn't need to say anything else. Oliver understood the meaning. _W_ _hy him? Why not me?_ The inflection was obvious. Or maybe he knew Cooper too well. 

Oliver brushed a hand against the cashmere pillow, hoping it would dry his clammy palms. It didn't. He needed a diversion, something to take his mind off the unuttered weight in the room. Reaching for a controller would be too conspicuous. They passed casual territory after the first utterance. 

"I talked to him about you. He's not happy with it, but he's willing to let you join." Oliver tried to crack a smile, though it didn't meet his eyes, more akin to a grimace than anything else.

"Really?" Cooper's lip turned up, and Oliver saw a glimpse of something. Hope. Then, as soon as it arrived, the glimmer faded. Cooper went back to inspecting a fuzz on his flannel pajamas. _'He's not happy with it.'_ _I bet you aren't either._

"He's not gonna replace you, alright?" _No one could._ "You're my best friend, dude."

"Dude."

Cooper grinned. A real one. The tension dropped.

"Dude." A beat. Softer. "I love you, man."

"I love you too."

Neither boy acknowledged the lack of 'man' back. It was easier that way. Cower behind a veil of platonic phrases, then rely on the other's ignorance for disguise. All so the something between them remained just that. _Something._

**Author's Note:**

> lol may make more parts of this???


End file.
